Grown Up! Grown Up! Grown Up!
Well friendies....Is this not just the year for becoming an adult? I think "YES!"
This little lady (i.e. ME) has been extremely busy the past month. Job applications, job interviews, seeing friends, visiting family, etc. Luckily...it seems that my hard work is FINALLY paying off in a serious fashion. This girl has a job! A real live adult person job!
A real live teacher lady!
Last week I was asked to fill the position of 3rd grade teacher at Carruthers Elementary School (there is nothing cool on the page but still this is where I will work!) in Murphysboro! Not only was I hired. But one of my besties was as well! Ashley in Kindergarten! (Congrats darling!) AND two other young folks that I went to high school and college with (Andrea [2nd grade] and Andy [3rd grade]).
Shortly after recieving my phone call I starting thinking....steady income....means....I CAN AFFORD TO MOVE OUT! So dear loves...I'm doing that too! This lady is moving into a house in town AND will be living without a roommate! This is a VERY big jump for a girl that is truely afraid of most everything. Luckily it is in a really good neighborhood and is a nice safe lil place.
I plan on being a very busy lady this summer with moving, planning for 3rd grade, and learning how to live on my own! Hopefully I will remember to keep blogging...but as time has shown us...when I get distracted I forget :) So let me leave you with some upcoming events to keep in mind just incase I forget!
End of June: Big Sister Kelli comes for a visit for Mom's Birthday, Father's Day, and a Wedding
July 1st: I can start moving my things in!
July 1st: I have health insurance again! PRAISE GOD! And fingers crossed I do not have anymore "oh shit" moments until then (i.e. no more falling down steps, stapling things to myself accidentally, falling out of the attic, cysts of the bum ovary variety, or knife injuries from crafting...at least until July)
August 14th: Teacher Inservice Day
August 17th: 1 hour orientation with students
August 18th: First real day of teaching 3rd grade!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
If you have two, give one to your friend....if you have three, give one to your friend and me
I have always wondered...why is it that many teachers drink so much/are alcoholics!? What is it about education that drives them to the bottle? This question is always in the back of my brain and never have I truly found the answer to this riddle.
Well....until today.
First, let it be said that one of my first memories made as a sub teacher involved me subbing in a middle school level class. A kindergarten teacher came to me before school started that day and asked which room I was in and whatnot. I informed her and she responded "Oh! *Jane is in that class! She will drive you to the bottle". I erupted into laughter that basically lasted all day. And it was true...Jane was a particularly difficult student. She didn't actually do anything at all...well in regards to participating in class. She just happened to be insanely in love with one of her classmates and would bully him, taunt him, chuck things at his head, do ridiculous things for him to make fun of her for...all just for his attentions. One day of this was not enough to drive me to drink....but I could see where a year of this behavior might make one consider the benefits of happy hour.
Now back to the task at hand. Today. Days like today make me realize why teachers often need a sip of some liquid bread after work. Today I walked into work and was THRILLED! I thought I was working all week as one teacher and found out that instead I got to teach my favorite kindergarten class for two of the days instead! This particular group of 5 and 6 year olds happen to be the class I subbed half a day for on my very first day of subbing. I fell in love with them instantly! They were funny, goofy, excited, and everyone remembered my name! All year I have worked with this group regularly to where most of the kids shout my name down the hall when they see me in the building (and then run and hug me and give me their nice children germs). Well...this loving and mostly well behaved group went MIA today.
Today the best way to describe my fave class would be as follows....
Part of them are suffering from serious "senioritis" of kindergarten. They just do not care about learning anymore this year.
EXAMPLE: *Kate was mad because she had to do a math page (like all the other kids) instead of play. She did the only logical thing a person could do...she chucked the packet of papers at my head.
Part of them seem to have done a bit of an Xmen style morph. They were just lovely little children and then something set them off and BAM suddenly they have bone like claws protruding from between their knuckles and they have ran screaming across the room and inserted their little claws into their fathers chest. I.E. They fell off the deep end.
EXAMPLE: *Wendy was unhappy with all of her classmates because they did not believe it was her birthday tomorrow (as Wendy happens to be a pathological liar). I told the class it was none of their business if it was Wendy's birthday tomorrow or not and that I didn't want to hear them fighting about it again. Wendy then decided to take matters in her own hands (really) and pinch everyone within her arms length from her (while I am watching) and then lie about pinching them after I witnessed her commit the offense and could see red marks of some of the kids!
The third group is about 1/5 of the class. This group is the motivators. The good kids. The teachers dream team. This is the group that listens, sits quietly, works hard, helps others, pays attention, likes learning, and never wipes boogers on/or sneezes in the teacher eye.
EXAMPLE: *Charlotte comes in the room, puts away her things, starts her work, finishes her work without talking, hands it in, draws me a picture expressing my amazing teaching skills, makes me a card stating her love for me, picks up the paper from the floor and puts it in recycling, and then reads a book to another student.
Also, there was a bit of something in the air (perhaps the hint of summer with the sunshine we got this afternoon?). The students just did not listen. As a teacher I HATE shouting at the kids. Today, there was no other option. At one point I was standing at the door of the room letting kids in. One girl walked in the room, turned around and walked right back out - bumping into me on the way. I politely called her name and said we were not taking a drink break and to please pack up her things to go home. She did not respond. I then called her name again. And again. And again. And yet again. She simply did not respond. She was standing under 10 feet from me and I was shouting her name in a relatively quite hallway and she absolutly ignored me. As if I was but a breeze blowing about...not a shouting and clearly irate teacher. It took another teacher standing 2 feet closer to the girl shouting her name 3 times before she finally looked at us as if we were annoying her.
After I finally herded the students to the bus line and car line I headed back to the room to gather my things and get the hell out of there. On my way I came across a certain kindergartner that is well known throughout the building for his...uniqueness (cough....poor behavior, inability to listen, follow along, and constant temper tantrums). This boy was being made to walk back down the hallway to his room and practice walking back to the bus line since he ran the entire way the first time. Instead of just buckling down and walking like most kids would do...he decides to break down crying, throw his back pack, and declare that he is going to leave his stupid bag at school now! (he really showed us!). Instead...he walked down to his room...turned around....walked back to where his bag was...picked it up....said goodbye to a friend in his class....and headed back out to the bus line.
Clearly chucking the bag and screaming was very necessary and accomplished a lot in his efforts to avoid walking to the bus line verses running.
All in all....when i left the building today my first thought was....man I wish it was tomorrow...because that means Cinco de Mayo...which means Mexican food with my adopted family...which also means....beer.
But, I guess it must be said...No I did not get my drink today. And as it turns out I did not really need it after all.
Cake is a nice substitute. Which now answers the question as to why so many teachers have poor figures.
They chose the cake over the alcohol.
*Names have been changed to protect...well the kids that did something silly or ridiculous.
Well....until today.
First, let it be said that one of my first memories made as a sub teacher involved me subbing in a middle school level class. A kindergarten teacher came to me before school started that day and asked which room I was in and whatnot. I informed her and she responded "Oh! *Jane is in that class! She will drive you to the bottle". I erupted into laughter that basically lasted all day. And it was true...Jane was a particularly difficult student. She didn't actually do anything at all...well in regards to participating in class. She just happened to be insanely in love with one of her classmates and would bully him, taunt him, chuck things at his head, do ridiculous things for him to make fun of her for...all just for his attentions. One day of this was not enough to drive me to drink....but I could see where a year of this behavior might make one consider the benefits of happy hour.
Now back to the task at hand. Today. Days like today make me realize why teachers often need a sip of some liquid bread after work. Today I walked into work and was THRILLED! I thought I was working all week as one teacher and found out that instead I got to teach my favorite kindergarten class for two of the days instead! This particular group of 5 and 6 year olds happen to be the class I subbed half a day for on my very first day of subbing. I fell in love with them instantly! They were funny, goofy, excited, and everyone remembered my name! All year I have worked with this group regularly to where most of the kids shout my name down the hall when they see me in the building (and then run and hug me and give me their nice children germs). Well...this loving and mostly well behaved group went MIA today.
Today the best way to describe my fave class would be as follows....
Part of them are suffering from serious "senioritis" of kindergarten. They just do not care about learning anymore this year.
EXAMPLE: *Kate was mad because she had to do a math page (like all the other kids) instead of play. She did the only logical thing a person could do...she chucked the packet of papers at my head.
Part of them seem to have done a bit of an Xmen style morph. They were just lovely little children and then something set them off and BAM suddenly they have bone like claws protruding from between their knuckles and they have ran screaming across the room and inserted their little claws into their fathers chest. I.E. They fell off the deep end.
EXAMPLE: *Wendy was unhappy with all of her classmates because they did not believe it was her birthday tomorrow (as Wendy happens to be a pathological liar). I told the class it was none of their business if it was Wendy's birthday tomorrow or not and that I didn't want to hear them fighting about it again. Wendy then decided to take matters in her own hands (really) and pinch everyone within her arms length from her (while I am watching) and then lie about pinching them after I witnessed her commit the offense and could see red marks of some of the kids!
The third group is about 1/5 of the class. This group is the motivators. The good kids. The teachers dream team. This is the group that listens, sits quietly, works hard, helps others, pays attention, likes learning, and never wipes boogers on/or sneezes in the teacher eye.
EXAMPLE: *Charlotte comes in the room, puts away her things, starts her work, finishes her work without talking, hands it in, draws me a picture expressing my amazing teaching skills, makes me a card stating her love for me, picks up the paper from the floor and puts it in recycling, and then reads a book to another student.
Also, there was a bit of something in the air (perhaps the hint of summer with the sunshine we got this afternoon?). The students just did not listen. As a teacher I HATE shouting at the kids. Today, there was no other option. At one point I was standing at the door of the room letting kids in. One girl walked in the room, turned around and walked right back out - bumping into me on the way. I politely called her name and said we were not taking a drink break and to please pack up her things to go home. She did not respond. I then called her name again. And again. And again. And yet again. She simply did not respond. She was standing under 10 feet from me and I was shouting her name in a relatively quite hallway and she absolutly ignored me. As if I was but a breeze blowing about...not a shouting and clearly irate teacher. It took another teacher standing 2 feet closer to the girl shouting her name 3 times before she finally looked at us as if we were annoying her.
After I finally herded the students to the bus line and car line I headed back to the room to gather my things and get the hell out of there. On my way I came across a certain kindergartner that is well known throughout the building for his...uniqueness (cough....poor behavior, inability to listen, follow along, and constant temper tantrums). This boy was being made to walk back down the hallway to his room and practice walking back to the bus line since he ran the entire way the first time. Instead of just buckling down and walking like most kids would do...he decides to break down crying, throw his back pack, and declare that he is going to leave his stupid bag at school now! (he really showed us!). Instead...he walked down to his room...turned around....walked back to where his bag was...picked it up....said goodbye to a friend in his class....and headed back out to the bus line.
Clearly chucking the bag and screaming was very necessary and accomplished a lot in his efforts to avoid walking to the bus line verses running.
All in all....when i left the building today my first thought was....man I wish it was tomorrow...because that means Cinco de Mayo...which means Mexican food with my adopted family...which also means....beer.
But, I guess it must be said...No I did not get my drink today. And as it turns out I did not really need it after all.
Cake is a nice substitute. Which now answers the question as to why so many teachers have poor figures.
They chose the cake over the alcohol.
*Names have been changed to protect...well the kids that did something silly or ridiculous.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Break me out tonight I wanna see the sunrise and anywhere but here
Crafts 101 - The Kendra and Christian Adventures
Lesson 1: The Art of Plate Decorating
A simple fact in life is this: Cute dishes cost a shit ton of money. End. Of. Story.
Project - Decoupaging the back of clear plates and then sealing them so they can be used for food serving, eating and whatnot.
"What you are," Annie Said, "is a coward who's too scared to face himself in the mirror. You just can't admit it. You want to think of yourself as the carefree, playboy type, the urban sophisticate, the ultimate yuppie, but you're just a miserable chickenshit."
Skill Level: 1*
Anticipated Fun Level: 5
Actual Fun Level: 1.75
Final Product Rating: 4
*all ratings are on a scale of 0-5
Supplies: Clear glass plates, old book, scissors, decoupage (or glue mixed with water), paint brushes (we used the foam variety), Polyurethane sealer
Cost: 2.00 (each clear plate was 1.00 and already had the rest of the supplies)
Directions from: The Big Ass Book of Crafts by Mark Montano
Well first it must be embraced that I am a rather crafty girl. Christian and I decided to try this project for several reasons. The first being that we both love to decoupage (most days). Second being that love, love, love reading and these pages gave us the opportunity to make plates with pages from a book! Third, Christian had an old lady romance/murder novel laying about and we just had to jump at the chance to paste filthy pages all over a plate that we would be eating on.
So for those of you that do not have access to directions...the basic idea is taking a clear glass plate and decoupaging the back side of it so the image shows through on the front of the plate. Then you must repeatedly seal the plate and HAND WASH the plate when you clean it. Simple Pimple.
We had been planning the creation of our plates for quite some time now and finally got our shit together to actually start the project. Our first mistake was that we had spent four hours prior to crafting out and about shopping and roaming about C'dale. So needless to say, we did really have our game faces on...we mostly had our "it is time to buckle down and get this shit done" faces. Warning...that is not really the face one needs when one is planning on decoupaging outside with gale force winds. Well we finally got started and made it through our first plate when we came to the conclusion that we lost interest in our project despite the fact that plate #1 was lovely for both of us. Since one should never just have one plate...and I had already started my second plate...we worked through the boredom and exhaustion and finished plate #2.
While I will say that this project was nowhere near as fun as anticipated. It must be said that our negative attitudes at the time may or may not have seriosly impacted the fun level of this crafting experience. Also, that the final product is fan-f*ing-tastic and I can't wait to eat some delish cake off of one of these bad boys!
Do I recommend this project? YES! But only if you A. do not complete it outside in hurricane level winds B. have the proper mindset to sit and glue shit to a plate for an hour of your life and C. have the appropriate jams to keep you motivated and unaware of the severe pain that your back is experiences from hunching over your work. :)
That being said....here is the final result with faux cupcake! (one plate was all the murder part of the book, the second plate was all the dirty sex scenes)
Lesson 1: The Art of Plate Decorating
A simple fact in life is this: Cute dishes cost a shit ton of money. End. Of. Story.
Project - Decoupaging the back of clear plates and then sealing them so they can be used for food serving, eating and whatnot.
"What you are," Annie Said, "is a coward who's too scared to face himself in the mirror. You just can't admit it. You want to think of yourself as the carefree, playboy type, the urban sophisticate, the ultimate yuppie, but you're just a miserable chickenshit." Anticipated Fun Level: 5
Actual Fun Level: 1.75
Final Product Rating: 4
*all ratings are on a scale of 0-5
Supplies: Clear glass plates, old book, scissors, decoupage (or glue mixed with water), paint brushes (we used the foam variety), Polyurethane sealer
Cost: 2.00 (each clear plate was 1.00 and already had the rest of the supplies)
Directions from: The Big Ass Book of Crafts by Mark Montano
Well first it must be embraced that I am a rather crafty girl. Christian and I decided to try this project for several reasons. The first being that we both love to decoupage (most days). Second being that love, love, love reading and these pages gave us the opportunity to make plates with pages from a book! Third, Christian had an old lady romance/murder novel laying about and we just had to jump at the chance to paste filthy pages all over a plate that we would be eating on.
So for those of you that do not have access to directions...the basic idea is taking a clear glass plate and decoupaging the back side of it so the image shows through on the front of the plate. Then you must repeatedly seal the plate and HAND WASH the plate when you clean it. Simple Pimple.
We had been planning the creation of our plates for quite some time now and finally got our shit together to actually start the project. Our first mistake was that we had spent four hours prior to crafting out and about shopping and roaming about C'dale. So needless to say, we did really have our game faces on...we mostly had our "it is time to buckle down and get this shit done" faces. Warning...that is not really the face one needs when one is planning on decoupaging outside with gale force winds. Well we finally got started and made it through our first plate when we came to the conclusion that we lost interest in our project despite the fact that plate #1 was lovely for both of us. Since one should never just have one plate...and I had already started my second plate...we worked through the boredom and exhaustion and finished plate #2.
While I will say that this project was nowhere near as fun as anticipated. It must be said that our negative attitudes at the time may or may not have seriosly impacted the fun level of this crafting experience. Also, that the final product is fan-f*ing-tastic and I can't wait to eat some delish cake off of one of these bad boys!
Do I recommend this project? YES! But only if you A. do not complete it outside in hurricane level winds B. have the proper mindset to sit and glue shit to a plate for an hour of your life and C. have the appropriate jams to keep you motivated and unaware of the severe pain that your back is experiences from hunching over your work. :)
That being said....here is the final result with faux cupcake! (one plate was all the murder part of the book, the second plate was all the dirty sex scenes)
"Murder" plate
Saturday, April 25, 2009
You could sing but don't because you're shy
Motivator. That is me.........Not.
Early this semester Christian and I had this really great idea that we would improve our state of existence. I.E. get our asses in shape and stop eating chocolate cake ALL the time. We worked like troopers for almost 2 months. Then we fell off our lil bandwagon of self improvement and went right back to being disasters. Well today I am climbing back on board today.
First. Let it be known if any of you ask me to do anything that involves A. spending money or B. eating large quantities of fried food and getting wasted.....DON'T. I have zero will power in life when it comes to spending money, fried things, alcohol consumption (I just can never have 1 drink), or chocolate cake (really cake in general).
Second. Anyone get a wild hair and decide to participate in some physical activity? Call my lazy butt and make me actually get off it. If I stayed off my bum I would be a much healthier person. But please dear friends, remember my sensitivity to the sun....so if your idea of fun physical activity involves being in the direct sunlight for more than 30 minutes...let me know so I can bring my UV gear (IE very large hat and giant bottle of water babies spf50).
Mostly, I am trying to get back in the grove of trying. I have officially done the whole be social bit the past several months and have went out regularly, hung with people I normally don't, and actually was social with people besides the bestests. I plan to continue this social Kendra (at least until I get a real job and go back in my shell of being an antisocial work-a-holic). Now, I am back on the rest of my improvement....getting in shape, de-cluttering, being healthier (which is really tricky considering I do NOT eat veggies of any kind really...and also love all things fried, covered in chocolate, filled with cheese, and dipped in ranch...just not at the same time), also I am working on expanding my reading to include more books that are not A. children's books (love them) B. historical fiction C. science fiction/fantasy D. biographies/history books. I am trying to broaden that horizon and tackle some of the greats. We will see how that goes for me.
Also....crafting. I'm back on my craft bus finally! So be prepared to see rather silly things like felt eggs, little girl tutus, softies, and whatnots. Today is the kick off of craft mania with Christian. We will be making (of all things we do not need) a dessert plate. Typical :) I will post the results and let you all see how this adventure goes (as crafting with friends is ALWAYS an adventure)!
Early this semester Christian and I had this really great idea that we would improve our state of existence. I.E. get our asses in shape and stop eating chocolate cake ALL the time. We worked like troopers for almost 2 months. Then we fell off our lil bandwagon of self improvement and went right back to being disasters. Well today I am climbing back on board today.
First. Let it be known if any of you ask me to do anything that involves A. spending money or B. eating large quantities of fried food and getting wasted.....DON'T. I have zero will power in life when it comes to spending money, fried things, alcohol consumption (I just can never have 1 drink), or chocolate cake (really cake in general).
Second. Anyone get a wild hair and decide to participate in some physical activity? Call my lazy butt and make me actually get off it. If I stayed off my bum I would be a much healthier person. But please dear friends, remember my sensitivity to the sun....so if your idea of fun physical activity involves being in the direct sunlight for more than 30 minutes...let me know so I can bring my UV gear (IE very large hat and giant bottle of water babies spf50).
Mostly, I am trying to get back in the grove of trying. I have officially done the whole be social bit the past several months and have went out regularly, hung with people I normally don't, and actually was social with people besides the bestests. I plan to continue this social Kendra (at least until I get a real job and go back in my shell of being an antisocial work-a-holic). Now, I am back on the rest of my improvement....getting in shape, de-cluttering, being healthier (which is really tricky considering I do NOT eat veggies of any kind really...and also love all things fried, covered in chocolate, filled with cheese, and dipped in ranch...just not at the same time), also I am working on expanding my reading to include more books that are not A. children's books (love them) B. historical fiction C. science fiction/fantasy D. biographies/history books. I am trying to broaden that horizon and tackle some of the greats. We will see how that goes for me.
Also....crafting. I'm back on my craft bus finally! So be prepared to see rather silly things like felt eggs, little girl tutus, softies, and whatnots. Today is the kick off of craft mania with Christian. We will be making (of all things we do not need) a dessert plate. Typical :) I will post the results and let you all see how this adventure goes (as crafting with friends is ALWAYS an adventure)!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I Remember Way Back When...
Rock, Paper, Scissor, CLAW!
Most amazing thing I heard this past weekend was at a beer pong tourney. As it turns out...when you are intense about beer pong...you play "Rock! Paper! Scissor!" to determine who gets to decide first throw (I learned something new). This precious ultimate frisbee boy (Spencer? perhaps) debated with some kid about whether or not it is best to do "Rock! Paper! Scissor!" and throw on "Scissor" or the beat after "Scissor". Said precious kid was really into this debate and out of no where says loudly....."yeah...the problem with throwing on the beat after 'Scissor' is that sometimes your hand freaks and instead of throwing your rock, paper, or scissor....you throw a claw. Rock! Paper! Scissor! Claw!"
To this statement I erupted into laughter that caused many strangers to stare at me because they missed the brilliance of the conversation about R.P.S. Another case of me ease dropping on someones converstation and looking like a crazy person.
Also. I'm a bit bigger of a kid! (and no we are not talking about my waistling...although sadly that thing is not getting any smaller). I did add a few new life experiences to my list!
At the tourney in question I was with out a doubt the shortest person in attendance. I just wanted to watch the Cards/Cubs game and for some reason every other person in the room wanted to stand in front of me. I had to keep doing a funny dance to see in the cracks between people. At once point I was talking with one of my new aquaintences - Kyle. He and I had just done one of those funny dances where you are trying to move to let someone walk by but it just does not work out. He said "Kendra! You are just in my way!" and I responded that I was sorry and just trying to not get trampled. He told me "It is okay Kendra...You are short". Like it was the magic fix it button.
Oh, you are in everyones way? It is okay..you are a short person.
You like the Cardinals and not the cubs? Well you are a short person.
You took two pain pills without food and now might keel over and die? Well you are just stupid...and also short.
Alright well maybe it was not as intense as all of that. But sometimes it feels that way. Case and Point....being the shortest person at the bar makes a person think they need to drink more to compensate. Life Lesson: DON'T try and compensate for your hight by drinking more.
On the bright side....I bought a phenomenal GIANT black floppy hat in St.Louis on my way to Columbia.
Most amazing thing I heard this past weekend was at a beer pong tourney. As it turns out...when you are intense about beer pong...you play "Rock! Paper! Scissor!" to determine who gets to decide first throw (I learned something new). This precious ultimate frisbee boy (Spencer? perhaps) debated with some kid about whether or not it is best to do "Rock! Paper! Scissor!" and throw on "Scissor" or the beat after "Scissor". Said precious kid was really into this debate and out of no where says loudly....."yeah...the problem with throwing on the beat after 'Scissor' is that sometimes your hand freaks and instead of throwing your rock, paper, or scissor....you throw a claw. Rock! Paper! Scissor! Claw!"
To this statement I erupted into laughter that caused many strangers to stare at me because they missed the brilliance of the conversation about R.P.S. Another case of me ease dropping on someones converstation and looking like a crazy person.
Also. I'm a bit bigger of a kid! (and no we are not talking about my waistling...although sadly that thing is not getting any smaller). I did add a few new life experiences to my list!
- Drove 4 hours solo...2 hours of which was completely new territory to myself. Also, the entire 4 hour drive home was in torrential downpour.
- Beer Pong Tourneyment. It was...everything I expected it to be. I.E. Silly. But some dumb bitch DID ask me where I was from and when I said I had went to SIUC she proceeded to ask me if I knew three different people she thought might attend there. Thank GOD one of her friends was smart enough to say...."SIU is not a small school and this girl just said she already graduated....why would she know these people!?". Good thing the friend had SOME common sense because we all know I can get a bit saucy at times!
- Went to a bar that was basically the equivalent of Pinch on crack (and we ALL know how i feel about Pinch...NOT GOOD) and I didn't even complain once!
- Socialized with more people that I either didn't know or had just met than I have ever done collectively in my life.
- Slept in two days in a row (one day til almost noon...I know I don't know how it happened)
At the tourney in question I was with out a doubt the shortest person in attendance. I just wanted to watch the Cards/Cubs game and for some reason every other person in the room wanted to stand in front of me. I had to keep doing a funny dance to see in the cracks between people. At once point I was talking with one of my new aquaintences - Kyle. He and I had just done one of those funny dances where you are trying to move to let someone walk by but it just does not work out. He said "Kendra! You are just in my way!" and I responded that I was sorry and just trying to not get trampled. He told me "It is okay Kendra...You are short". Like it was the magic fix it button.
Oh, you are in everyones way? It is okay..you are a short person.
You like the Cardinals and not the cubs? Well you are a short person.
You took two pain pills without food and now might keel over and die? Well you are just stupid...and also short.
Alright well maybe it was not as intense as all of that. But sometimes it feels that way. Case and Point....being the shortest person at the bar makes a person think they need to drink more to compensate. Life Lesson: DON'T try and compensate for your hight by drinking more.
On the bright side....I bought a phenomenal GIANT black floppy hat in St.Louis on my way to Columbia.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Dancing at Discos, Eating Cheese on Toast
Sometimes in life...I have stretches of time where I am more bonkers than usual (and you all thought that wasn't possible). This would be one of those time.
Today Christian and I went on yet another adventure into the unknown. This time that unknown would be the world of sports and unexplored regions of the Metro East and St. Louis area. Now please do not get me wrong....CH and I may not be the most athletic or knowledgeable people when it comes to sports. BUT we do have a healthy appreciation for A. the people we know that are sporty B. trying new things...like watching an Ultimate Frisbee Tournament at the college level AND C. any time the two of us can hang out and be insane (i.e. every time we or any of the bestests get together).
We started off the day getting up early and following my little sister's soccer team up to Alton, Illinois (which is supposed to be a very historical and HAUNTED location for all my lil history loving and ghost loving friends and family). After we dropped off my sister at her tournament we headed onward towards Deliverance, Mo for our Ultimate Frisbee Experience. On the way we did what we typically do during car adventure...see how many minutes I can shave off the estimated arrival time provided by "Madge" the GPS system (which would have been about 20 minutes off an hour and 15 minute drive), sing and dance like crazy people, and wear ridiculous hats in an attempt to 1. entertain and 2. make friends with everyone on the road. Needless to say....the driving part was sensational!
Karlee did not wear a funny hat...she wore a fake mustachio instead. It worked just as well for our purposes. 
One of the MANY instances of us snuggling for warmthAfter the game was done CH and I headed off to get food with Ryan and two of his friends. This in and of itself was an adventure because when Ryan takes the wheel and is driving down a narrow, curvy road....it can tend to make a girl a nervous wreck! Now, now friends let us embrace that I can't really cast judgment on his driving skills because A. I am still alive B. I did not puke and C. Oh yeah....I'm actually a terrifying driver at times and it is really luck that I have not crashed and or killed anyone yet.
After the food situation was taken care of, CH and I had to scurry back to Alton to watch Karlee's second soccer game and then drive home. It was during our fast paced journey back to Alton that CH and I kept hearing what sounded like a duck quacking at us. This "duck" quacked every few minutes and would leave us completely baffled. It became quite annoying and was to the point where we wondered if there really could be a duck in the car. Perhaps some poor ducky wandered away from his pond and took shelter under the car away from the wind. I mean...I hear cats do it quite often. So really what would stop a duck from doing the same? After reaching this conclusion, Christian text Ryan to ask if it was possible for a duck to be either hiding in the car with us or to have crawled up under it. After receiving a text that it could be possible, Ryan also suggested that we pull over and look. Being the absolutely silly and insane girls we are....this caused us to erupt into uncontrollable laughter which was probably more dangerous to my driving skills than any stowaway duck could ever be. We did not really know what good it would do us or the duck if we did pull over. Would he be able to get out from under the car? Should we release him on the interstate? (that seemed sick and wrong to us) Did he miss his mother? As we pondered these questions we decided to drive on since any little duck that may be lurking in or under the car could not really be helped by either of us.
CH and I were making sure the duck was not hiding. 
After sitting through watching a group of 13 year old girls playing soccer we headed home. Once we got there we were chatting with my family while finishing up preparations for a family birthday dinner and the duck topic came up. I explained to my parents how the noise was driving us insane and that neither of our phones, cameras, or iPods were making the noise. At this point both of my parents look at me like I am clearly the stupid child in the family and then let me know that A. I am ridiculous and B. I must have been speeding during the entire trip because as it turns out...the GPS will honk at you regularly if you go over 75mph. Another case of when it is just better if I keep my mouth shut.
The good news is the trip was a success and a blast... even if we did not make friends with a rouge hitchhiking duck.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
These Simple Things I've Learned Don't Give A Clue To Answer Why...the only thing I know is I don't know a thing
Dear Boys and Girls,
It is a beautiful day! The sun is shining and the grass is turning green! Today is going to be a special day. We have a fun assembly and it is a short day! I hope we have a great day together!
Love,
Miss B.
Let this be a sign of my ever dwindling sanity. For those of you that know me, I am a what many people would call....pessimistic. I would call it being logical and a realist (with an occasional side of pessimism for spice). This is just who I have always been. I am the girl that sees the glass as half empty...but also the girl that sees that glass and thinks "Damn that first half was delicious! I better savor this second half because this fruit punch is fantastic!" I am also the girl that had a game plan. While there were some remixes in the plan....my song was still the same. I wanted to go to college, study education, graduate ASAP (those of you that remember me in high school know just how much trouble I have had with actually attending school), get good grades (Magna Cum Laude, Bitches!), get a teaching job in Southern Illinois, and live my life.
Well I achieved all of those goals up until the get a job and live my life part. This is where the change began. Goal oriented Kendra had to face unemployment (YIKES!), lack of health insurance (DOUBLE YIKES! as many of you know I am accident prone and have a shitty immune system), AND living at home for another year (FML). During the fall I relaxed in a serious fashion and I feel it was VERY well deserved having worked my ass off to graduate early...I deserved a break and a bit of acting like a college kid should. During this time my life was at a standstill of sorts. I had no job prospects and no real goal to work towards since getting a teaching position was out of the question for at least 8 months. I moped around in true KB style. Stayed in my pajamas for two days at a time, ate cake and mac and cheese every day, consumed ungodly amounts of fruit punch, read a lot of books, sand and danced around my room for hours each day, watched a lot of tv and crafted.
This all went well for me except when I stopped to evaluate the lameness of my life. This spring I expected things to continue as before....lazy and unmotivated in a frump Kendra. But then something happened. I can't really figure out what changed....but my realization of sudden optimism and a new outlook on life...that can be blamed on the red hats.
While on Spring Break in the STL Christian and Jessica and I bought these festive fellows for a whopping $3.50 from the crazy Asians at the costume jewelry store. We put on these funny guys and suddenly the day was beautiful, life was good, and it did not matter that I don't have a real job and live with my parents (and it takes A LOT to make that seem like an acceptable situation).
This new slightly optimistic, cheerful, positive Kendra is a strange new place. For once in my life I am able to write bright and sunny things like the above letter (which is what I WILL be writing on Friday as my morning message for the group of kindergartners that I sub for) and not have to fight to keep my gag reflex in check. Sure....sarcasm still eeks out of my every pore...and yeah.... the glass may still not be half full....but such is life. I AM working very hard to try new things and let loose and live a bit more. I am also working on completing a mental (now written) list (yes you silly kids ANOTHER list!) of things that I have wanted to do that for some reason or another I have not done yet.
Let me end this strangely positive post before I change my mind and go back to being my normal sarcastic, negative, Whaaa whaaa whaaa self.
The Best Things in Life....Orange Bras, Aprons, Temp tattoos, Skull Earrings, Floppy Hat, Chef Hat, Drunk Punch, Love.
It is a beautiful day! The sun is shining and the grass is turning green! Today is going to be a special day. We have a fun assembly and it is a short day! I hope we have a great day together!
Love,
Miss B.
Let this be a sign of my ever dwindling sanity. For those of you that know me, I am a what many people would call....pessimistic. I would call it being logical and a realist (with an occasional side of pessimism for spice). This is just who I have always been. I am the girl that sees the glass as half empty...but also the girl that sees that glass and thinks "Damn that first half was delicious! I better savor this second half because this fruit punch is fantastic!" I am also the girl that had a game plan. While there were some remixes in the plan....my song was still the same. I wanted to go to college, study education, graduate ASAP (those of you that remember me in high school know just how much trouble I have had with actually attending school), get good grades (Magna Cum Laude, Bitches!), get a teaching job in Southern Illinois, and live my life.
Well I achieved all of those goals up until the get a job and live my life part. This is where the change began. Goal oriented Kendra had to face unemployment (YIKES!), lack of health insurance (DOUBLE YIKES! as many of you know I am accident prone and have a shitty immune system), AND living at home for another year (FML). During the fall I relaxed in a serious fashion and I feel it was VERY well deserved having worked my ass off to graduate early...I deserved a break and a bit of acting like a college kid should. During this time my life was at a standstill of sorts. I had no job prospects and no real goal to work towards since getting a teaching position was out of the question for at least 8 months. I moped around in true KB style. Stayed in my pajamas for two days at a time, ate cake and mac and cheese every day, consumed ungodly amounts of fruit punch, read a lot of books, sand and danced around my room for hours each day, watched a lot of tv and crafted.
This all went well for me except when I stopped to evaluate the lameness of my life. This spring I expected things to continue as before....lazy and unmotivated in a frump Kendra. But then something happened. I can't really figure out what changed....but my realization of sudden optimism and a new outlook on life...that can be blamed on the red hats.
While on Spring Break in the STL Christian and Jessica and I bought these festive fellows for a whopping $3.50 from the crazy Asians at the costume jewelry store. We put on these funny guys and suddenly the day was beautiful, life was good, and it did not matter that I don't have a real job and live with my parents (and it takes A LOT to make that seem like an acceptable situation).This new slightly optimistic, cheerful, positive Kendra is a strange new place. For once in my life I am able to write bright and sunny things like the above letter (which is what I WILL be writing on Friday as my morning message for the group of kindergartners that I sub for) and not have to fight to keep my gag reflex in check. Sure....sarcasm still eeks out of my every pore...and yeah.... the glass may still not be half full....but such is life. I AM working very hard to try new things and let loose and live a bit more. I am also working on completing a mental (now written) list (yes you silly kids ANOTHER list!) of things that I have wanted to do that for some reason or another I have not done yet.
- See Taking Back Sunday (go ahead...make fun of me...I have loved TBS for years and years and finally have the chance to see them. I AM GEEEKED!)
- Get out more...get wasted during the week (thank you Crunk Thursday with Christian and Monday Camp out)
- Go out to the bars during the week (still needs to happen)
- Be Social! (Working on it....I tend to just not try socially because I have amazing friends...but I am trying really hard to be social and a friend to people besides my passe)
- Do more things because I enjoy it and not let things like money and sleep be such a dominating factor in my choices.
Let me end this strangely positive post before I change my mind and go back to being my normal sarcastic, negative, Whaaa whaaa whaaa self.
The Best Things in Life....Orange Bras, Aprons, Temp tattoos, Skull Earrings, Floppy Hat, Chef Hat, Drunk Punch, Love.
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